Nasty Habits

Bronte’s Farewell Letter to Chase

Chase,

By the time you’re reading this, I’ll be far away and in America. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you this to your face. I would’ve cried. You know how much I hate crying, especially in front of you. Oh geez, here I go. I don’t want to go, but naturally, as grandma says, “Your opinion doesn’t matter”. I don’t know how long I’m going to be gone, so I really don’t blame you if you forget about me…

I was talking to my uncle on the phone the other day and he said that America is nice. But…there’s something in me that keeps telling me not to believe him. I don’t know why. All I know is that my heart hurts and that I’m terrified. I don’t want to leave Liverpool or my mom, but I especially don’t want to leave you. How can I survive without my best friend beside me?

I guess the best thing I can do is hope you can come for a visit.

Also, I wanted to be able to give you these at Christmas, but I won’t be here. So, I’m giving them to you now. The drawing is terrible, like mine always are. I know you’ll be laughing at my attempts, but I hope you’ll cherish it anyway. I know that boys aren’t exactly fans of necklaces, but I hope you’ll wear this one anyway. It has a four leaf clover on it. Remember that day in summer where we stayed out until almost eleven, looking for four leaf clovers to give to mum? We thought they’d make her feel better. That’s what I think about when I see this necklace, and I hope you think about it too…

The way they talk about mum’s sickness frightens me. I think that’s why they’re all sending me away in the first place. Anyway, I should go now, before I wet this entire page with my tears.

I’m going to miss you so much.

I love you, Chase. Please. Please don’t forget about me.

xx

Bronte

Chase’s Christmas Mix Tape For Bronte

Chief,

I think I should have gotten you that scarf you said you liked. You would have been able to use it. It would have been a useful Christmas present. My mom says those are the only kind to give.  I don’t like useful gifts. I like gifts that mean something. This means something. Maybe you’ll even like it, if I’m lucky. Even if you hate it, just stick through until the end. These songs make me think of you. We’ve listened to most of them; sitting on the hood of my car (before you killed him), hiding from the world in your room, wherever. Except for the last one. The last one is really important, okay? Make sure you listen to that one. Twice if you need to.

-Chase

*Asleep - The Smiths

I Will - The Beatles

Happy Holidays, You Bastard - blink 182

My Generation - The Who

**Baby You Can Drive My Car - The Beatles

Saturday Savior - Failure

Wonderwall - Oasis

My Own Worst Enemy - Lit

I Won’t Be Home For Christmas - blink 182

Sentimental Tune - Tegan and Sara

I Found a Reason - The Velevet Underground

Hey - Pixies

***The Kaiser Chiefs - Ruby

*Because it’s my favorite.

**For when you wrecked my car when I tried to teach you how to drive a stick.

***This is the song I told you I’d give you that time we were drunk and you asked me what I thought about you, since I doubt you remembered to look it up—I don’t blame you, you were really hungover. Listen to it carefully. Please. It’s how I feel about you.

Delicate as a Rose (Wilting)

Her name is Addison.

She stood there, perched at the edge of the grave. Barely past twenty-three, and already a widow. They said he fought hard. They said that he saved a lot of lives. But all she wanted was to have her husband back in front of her. She was dressed nice, wearing funeral black, with the jewelry he had given to her on their second anniversary.

Addison shifted the baby on her hip. Their baby, Wyatt, was almost his spitting image. They had the same large blue eyes. Currently, he was resting his head on her shoulder, being rather quiet, considering he’d threw a fit when she’d put him in his clothes that morning. She had his diaper bag slung over her shoulder with her purse, while his little hand clutched onto his dinosaur, and she kept his blanket wrapped around him. It was chilly- fitting to her mood.

Addison raised her head, glanced around for a moment, and realized she was the last one there. She wiped at a stray tear, continuing to stare down at the hole where his coffin had sank. She clutched a folded American flag in her hand, and felt her heart breaking all over again. Ian had been so bent on serving his country and making a difference. Sure, she was proud of him, but now her lover was gone. She shifted her six month old in her arms, hearing him suck on his pacifier. She pressed a sweet kiss to his forehead. “Mommy’s done now, baby.” She murmured into his ear, though she was unsure if he really understood her. Her voice was enough though.

The baby sat up slowly and lightly patted her wet cheek. She gave her little boy a shaky smile and then sniffled a bit. “I think its time to go.” She murmured once more. Addison firmly turned away from the grave she knew her husband would lay in from now on. She made it to her car, and carefully tucked Wyatt into his seat. Making sure he was strapped in securely, she straightened up and watched him drift off to sleep. She looked over her shoulder, watching as the dirt was dumped into the hole. And she lost it again.

“My heart is always with you. Be strong. Show Wyatt I love him.”

The last words he’d ever spoken to her. She turned her watery brown eyes towards the sky and managed a shaky smile.

“You’ll always be alive in our hearts. I love you.”

With that final goodbye, Addison climbed into her car. She turned her head and checked on her sleeping baby, smiling once more. Securing her seat belt, she started up the car and started driving home.

Our new life starts now.

Laken grinned as she stood before the mirror, hands spayed on either side of her rounded belly. She was very pregnant. Six months. It was hard to believe it had really been that long, and that in three very short months, she and Aiden would be parents. That brought a bright blush to her cheeks and she grinned wider.

Glancing down, she caught sight of the rings on her finger, that declared she was now, officially, Mrs. Aiden Iero. Thinking of this made her feel like she could soar- go anywhere and do anything she ever wanted. Too bad people don’t have wings, she thought to herself as she walked down the hall.

Giving a light, affectionate pat to her belly, she used the restroom and then made a beeline for the back room. Aiden was out, doing what, she didn’t know. Probably something with Montauk. All she knew was that she had woken up alone that morning. It wasn’t often that she woke alone, so at first, she had a lapse in judgment and had panicked. Of course he hasn’t left, you silly goose. He’s not Draven. He’s your husband. And the daddy of your baby.

As she eased onto the bed, leaning against the pillows she propped up, she caressed her tummy. It was hard not to do. The little guy was so active, almost kicking around twenty-four seven. It was amusing really. She could sit there and trail her fingers over her stomach, and he’d kick everywhere she touched. She supposed it was sort of a game between the two of them. However, it was pretty tiring sometimes. Her back ached almost constantly, she sometimes got heartburn, and her morning sickness was killer. And as much as she loved Aiden, well…sometimes he was too overbearing. But it was their first baby, and he was worried about her, which she understood to a point. He loved her after all, he had a right to be worried.

Laken had a tendency to wake in the middle of the night, or the early hours in the morning, having to walk the floor because her back was bugging her. Right now, her aches and pains were taking a break, and she was thankful. She flipped on the TV to watch something. Since she had no articles to write today, she had plenty of downtime. But she still couldn’t help but think about her husband.

I wonder what he’s up to…

Wedding Bells at Last

It had finally happened. She was now happily wedded, with two gorgeous rings on her fingers, to the most amazing guy ever. She’d been nervous in the beginning, and as if their baby could sense that, he’d been kicking all morning, especially when Laken got irritated with her mother. The ceremony had flown by and then they were walking down the aisle with joined hands and the rice flying at them.

Standing there and glancing up in his gorgeous blue eyes, Laken knew that somehow, everything would be okay. Everything would work out. They loved each other so much, and it was there in the sincerity of his eyes.

The dance came after that, and it seemed like they were the only two people in the entire world. She loved him so much that it hurt. The rest of the day, other than the cake and juice (she drank this instead of the wine, since she was pregnant), was a huge blur.And the last thing that she remembered, before curling up in his arms, were the pictures. So many of them. And she realized that this wedding would be talked about for a long time.

Just like she knew that A.J. would be talked about.

Mrs. Aiden Iero…

(Cortnie)

That familiar happiness is starting to flood back in and he knows this is good. He welcomes it with open arms. Ever since that day- on the beach, when he met Kyra, he knew something in his life was going to change. Something major. She lit a fire in him that he didn’t realize he still had. And after much deliberation, he finally realized how stupid that attempted suicide had been.

He had so many good things going on in his life right now. So many great people that loved him and cared for him. But he’d been selfish. Stupid and selfish. And now, miracle of all miracles, he had another chance at happiness, and maybe even a chance at love. Only time will tell.

This time, Liam determined, would be different. This time he wouldn’t get his icky feelings get the best of him. This time he’d raise his chin up and keep on pushing forward. He was determined to be happy.

(Cortnie)

A peek at Laken’s Mind

She was lucky she had found him. Truly- he’d save her from a pit of never-ending self blame.

It’d been a couple of years since that day; the day Draven walked out on her. He’d said before that he loved her. That he’d be there for her no matter what. And she’d believed him. Like a love-sick puppy, she’d followed him around- fixed his dinner, washed his laundry, taken care of their home. The moment she got pregnant though- that was when the blame started flying.

Draven had been angry. He’d left in the middle of the night, and came back real early the next morning- around four thirty. He’d been drunk out of his mind, said that Laken had ruined his life, and he couldn’t believe she’d done this to him. After her initial reaction, she’d paled and had shut her mouth. He’d backed off. A few hours later, Draven was begging and pleading for her to speak with him- and when she refused, she’d gotten backhanded. She hadn’t told Aiden that part. Wasn’t sure that was for everyone to know.

Draven never made it up to her. He tried, but they both knew that their relationship was falling to pieces. When Laken had miscarried, she’d thought he’d be there with her. How wrong she was. He ditched as soon as he got wind of it, and Laken was left to cope all by herself.

She’d never tell her boyfriend now- but that was a fear she lived with all the time. Especially now that she realized they’d made a mistake and hadn’t used protection.

The weeks right after losing the baby had been the worst. She’d starved herself, pretty much. Gotten really thin and sick, refused to speak with anyone. But after a month of wallowing in her own self-pity, she made herself get up out of bed and pick her life back up. The recovery process was long and painful. But she’d got herself into control.

Finally, she felt like she was in an okay place, and had let go of most of her grief. She quit wearing the engagement ring Draven had given her. And when she went on the Walking Wounded tour she wasn’t sure she was going to enjoy it. So many guys in one place was a bit intimidating. She hadn’t expected to find this; love. Aiden was amazing. He completed her life. And her, she’d found him on tour.

Life really did have an interesting way of working out.

(Cortnie)

He felt the familiar roiling emotions inside of him he always did around Jayda. And when she kissed him- well that had been a shocking revelation. But sitting with her there on the couch now, as she tells him what’s going on in her head, Liam can’t help but feel like something is breaking, deep down inside.

Of course he knew he could never measure up to Matt- no one could. That guy had been amazing to everyone he met. It was just a fact that he knew would always remain the same. However, the thought that he was just there because she felt better with him? That it didn’t feel like much more than that, killed something very deep inside of him.

Here he was, pretty sure that he was in love with a girl he’d been infatuated with since he was eleven- to find out that he could probably never amount to something like that. The realization was slowly washing over him, making him suddenly understand. Here he’d waited for her, waited so patiently when he knew that it was useless.

Jayda was still holding on tight to Matt. They’d been pretty much together when they first met. Sure, it wasn’t official, but everyone knew that in the end, those two would wind up together. And then when Matt was killed, everything changed. No one was ever the same, and especially not Jayda. Liam didn’t understand why he thought that he could ever have a real chance.

It was a nice thought though…

(Cortnie)

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